Diary of a First Time Mom

Archive for the ‘Diaper Free Baby’ Category

With so much going on in Wyatt’s life lately, getting into any type of a potty routine has been almost impossible.  Not that it has always been this way though…

We started Elimination Communication with Wyatt when he was eight months old.  The first week, we had many successes.  Once we offered him the bathtub to stand up while peeing (like boys do), we had even more successes.

Now, two and a half months later, we are at the end of a major growth spurt (hey! he can reach the next shelf!), teething continues (the first of four top teeth has appeared in the last few days), and he is walking.  So it is almost unnecessary to say that Wyatt has lots going on, and is not always interested in letting us know when he has to ‘go’.  Because he is always go-go-GO!

All this came to a head yesterday when I hit the wall.  I think most people who have started EC may understand.  In fact, all parents who add a new layer into their lives probably understand.  We had a day where I was not in-sync with the baby.  Normally I can catch a few here and there, and at the very least, know when he has gone, or he tells me.  Yesterday was miss after miss after miss.  I actually said out loud “i hate this, i hate this, i hate this…”  Totally dejected and frustrated, I told myself that this is how I feel, and tomorrow will be different.

Added to all this negativity was the fact that I was coming down with the flu.  Not great.  So I went to bed at 8pm (same as Wyatt), woke for a 1am feed (after 5 hours of sleep!  the normal amount for the whole night!), and slept till 7am when he woke up.  I had pretty much kicked the flu, but had already decided that this would be Day One of resetting our EC practice.

Resetting to me means being present with him while he is awake, and napping when he naps.  As suggested by Andrea Olson, in her book EC Simplified, this helps to get us back in sync.  And it worked!  I was worried that I would get nothing done in the day, as I usually work, clean, cook, and do laundry while he sleeps, but that was not the case.  Today I resolved that I would be with Wyatt first, and the only other thing I would “get done” was laundry.  And because of that, I actually got ALL the laundry done, spent time with my boy, napped when he napped, and felt so much more rested overall.  I’m still fighting this bug, so it is probably good timing to scale things back, but I am really glad we are doing things over from scratch.

By not trying to do everything every day, the things I do are done consciously, and with intent.  And I enjoy everything more.   I have made the commitment to scale back all week, so watch out for my progress.  If I notice this much of a difference in just Day One, I am excited to see how each day goes from here!

Wyatt has been so busy lately, that I can’t even remember when this started.  But somehow between learning to walk, and dealing with the frustration that can ensue, cutting four + teeth, going through a growth spurt,  and adjusting to more solid meals, he has decided he is too busy to signal for the potty or go on cue.

While all this may be true, I also think that I may have been preoccupied and therefore not given the attention required to have our EC be successful.

So with all that in mind, yesterday afternoon I decided to revisit the whole philosophy and start again.  I cued up the EC Simplified audio book by Andrea Olson, and started listening from the beginning.

What this did for me was to not only remember the basics, which Andrea O details in a very organized and easy to remember fashion, but also I was reminded to relax.  And have fun!  Her calm tone reminded me not to panic or try to rush anything.  That this is a process and for me to be in-tune with what Wyatt needs, I need to be calm internally.  I also remembered that we have days where I am out of sync with him with regards to his other needs, and so this is just a normal part of it, and there is always the next moment, or the next day to start over.

After a great morning, meeting with the ladies in my women’s networking group, I came home to W who was playing with his daddy.  We chatted for a bit about the EC philosophy, and he even reminded me a few things that we weren’t doing but needed to.  And so I decided to have some diaper-free time with Wyatt.  And really really watch this time.

Only a few minutes went by, when suddenly W went from happily playing to suddenly fussy.  Where I had been checking his diaper to find him dry normally, this time I saw it as a potty-tunity as he was telling me he HAD to go, rather than telling me he had already gone.  We went to the bathroom and tried the toilet, with a potty insert.  But he is still so wiggly that we then slowly moved to the bathtub, the one place that he pees the most.  After a minute or so of play, I bit the bullet and sat on the toilet myself (hey, you’re the one reading a post about potty time.  what did you expect…?)  When he saw and heard me “go”, he looked down.  And went.  Ta da!

Rather than congratulate him (or myself) as I have been doing, I approached this from the NVC way and said “hey!  you peed!  let’s go clean you up!”  And off we went.  I will admit to mentally high-fiving myself.  But hey, I’m human!

In conclusion, the only real significant difference that I could tell between have a smooth diaper-free day, and a day of lots of frustrating misses, is my own internal state.  When I am in-tune with myself, and him and living in the present moment, life is just so sweet!

Today I was wondering what I would write about tonight.  ”Luckily” I found a great topic by the end of the day…

Part One:  The Bedroom

Wyatt and I had dinner earlier than usual tonight which meant bath time was earlier too.  After bath, he has his “naked time” in his room to run around and play and air dry.  I felt quite good about myself as I sat in the rocking chair in his room, with my feet up, knowing bath and dinner were finished (the two tasks that take up the most energy for me) and we had a long evening ahead of us just to play and cuddle.

A little back story, Wyatt had not pooped in three days.

On with the story…

W, in all his nakedness, was sitting with  his back to me at the bookshelf, playing with his toys.  I remember thinking that he was sitting in an unusual position for him.  Almost like he was sitting on his knees or squatting.  The part of my brain that does not speak in words hinted at poop, but it was so soft spoken that I barely noticed.  I am not really sure what happened next, as it all happened so fast.  But the next thing I knew, he was crawling at me full speed.  And my brain could not comprehend what I saw.  There were dark stains behind him, and on his feet, and on his hands, and on the floor in small spots where his feet and hands were crawling.  And he did not look amused.

Oh.  He pooped.  Crap!

That was inward.  Outward I was very excited and happily scooped him up and took him to the bathroom.  Not sure what to do next, as I was sure there would be more, I put him in the tub so he could stand up.  I tried sitting him on the potty, but with a wiggly bum, it just created more clean up for later…

Part Two:  The Bathroom

Maybe I should have called this “Number Two”…  So the toilet is covered.  Wyatt is covered (well hands and feet.  Oh and legs.  And a bit on his arms) And he is in the bathtub standing up.  Luckily, we have a sprayer attached to the shower, so I turned on the warm water, hosed him down, which he was fascinated with, and the for the hell of it, ran another bath.  Full.  With soap.

Phew!  Clean baby played while I sat with him and wiped off the toilet.  Just the bedroom floor to deal with later.  No prob.  Until he stood up.  Again.  And that same voice whispered in my head “he’s pooing“.  And once again I thought, no way.

Way.

That is when Wyatt had the true joy of discovering where these little logs and patties come from.  We waved goodbye as they went down the drain, and I washed him off again.  What a night!

The funny thing is, as far as the EC rule book goes, this was all a success in a way.  I got to talk to him about what has happening.  AND I got validation that when my intuition says that he has to go, it is generally right.  And it would behoove me to listen, or pay the price later.  :-)

All in all, it probably only lasted about half an hour.  I put him in his crib, sprayed the spots on the floor, cleaned up the kitchen while it soaked in, and scrubbed after.  Then we still had the evening to ourselves, and once he went to bed I had no more work to do.  So it really all does work out in the end.  Pun intended.

I think tomorrow’s post may be entitled Adventures in Carpet Cleaning…

For the sake of the reader, I have not included photos in the post.

For our future guests, please know that I scrubbed that bathtub.  So don’t be afraid!

As I navigate being a new mom, I am starting to see what initially looked like separate threads all come together. It seems that moms who are into Baby Led Weaning, also (for the most part – but not all) use cloth diapers, breast feed their children, and are into Elimination Communication.

Is there a club? There should be! All are welcome! Bring your ideas and different ways and discuss!

Is it weird that I would want to consider having another baby just so I can try all this out from the get go? Wyatt and I are learning all this new stuff at eight months old (him) and thirty fours years (me). Imagine what it would be like to put these ways of life into practice from birth?

I do look back on the birthing experience and see a whole lot that I would have changed. I would have had Dr Mills come to the hospital and give Wyatt OMT adjustments from the day he was born, rather than wait 12 weeks. I would have had a midwife rather than an OB. I still think the hospital was the right decision for our first baby, considering we had no idea what to expect. I am glad I was able to labor at home for those 59 hours… And had that time been a lot shorter, I am sure I could have delivered naturally. But three nights awake and you lose some pushing steam, if you know what I mean. (and if you do, then you REALLY do know what I mean!)

It is strange that I would look back eight months and wish I could have done things differently. Especially considering how healthy, active, vibrant and happy our little boy is. Perhaps I could look back fondly at all the learning we have all achieved together instead.

Still…

I wouldn't change a thing!

Baby "Long Arm". Eight Months Old!

With so much going on lately, it seems like it has been ages since I have sat down and written a post here.  Wyatt turned eight months old last Friday.  He is crawling faster and faster each day.  We started on solid foods full-time (following the Baby Led Weaning book) after Scott and I returned from Mexico.  That was another first…  Leaving The Baby for 5 days.  That was really hard but I honestly think I was able to really appreciate him more when we got back.  I have not had the chance to actually MISS Wyatt as I work from home and am with him full time.

My website design business is rapidly picking up and I am very grateful for this.  Combine that with an extremely mobile baby, who is determined to walk before Halloween (place your bets, but know that I am in no rush).  It makes for a busy household.  Scott’s work keeps him very busy too, so when we do get time together, it is usually spent on the floor in Wyatt’s room playing and hanging out.  Those are the times that I really value, and we seem to slip into a sort of timeless space involving play and baby-proofing.

The next step I am introducing to our household is called “Diaper Free Baby“.  I just read the book and am hooked on the idea.  However there is a real process that is involved especially if you start in late infancy, like us.

The general idea is that babies, like most people, don’t like to mess themselves.  They are born with a natural instinct to know when they need to eliminate.  Anyone who has heard the story of Wyatt’s birth already knows how he refused to pee for the first two days of his life.  It was quite an ordeal for the nurses too.  One night I remember the nurse taking his diaper off and holding him up under his arms saying “pee pee.  pee pee.”  She called it the “pee pee dance” and that most babies will go right after you take the diaper off.  But not Wyatt.  First they gave him an ultrasound to make sure his kidneys were working.  Then a catheter to finally relieve him.  And relieve him they did.  It blew out the catheter, covering the walls and the two nurses.  All this at two days old!

Wyatt was communicating with me from the moment he was born.  I am very grateful and happy to have a strong connection with him, and I am always looking at new ways to expand this.  When we got home from the hospital, we began to notice that every time he peed, he cried.  He never peed with his diaper off.  I wondered if it was memories of the issues in the hospital.  But after time, it didn’t seem to bother him as much.

Now I understand that this unhappiness at peeing himself is a natural instinct that after time, goes away.  EC (Elimination Communication) encourages this instinct to remain strong, or in our case, come back.

A long time ago, I had heard whispers of people who took their babies to the toilet and held them over it so they could pee.  I think I even laughed at the idea, but something in the back of my mind filed it away for future use.  And here we are people.  Let the Diaper Free trials begin!

Not convinced?  Have a look at it in action.  Here is a video from Andrea Olson, new mom and author of EC Simplified, which I know will be my new favorite book as soon as I read it.

Who knew there could be so much to say about poop and pee!?  (Although those of you who know our family are not all that surprised…)

Click here to visit EC Simplified via my Affiliate Link.