Diary of a First Time Mom

Archive for the ‘Scott’ Category

After putting together some more furniture today, we decided to see what it would be like for Scott to sit in the new rocker with a baby in one hand and a bottle in another.

Here’s the result:

Trial Run

Not exactly what I had in mind…    (for more detail, click on the image)

Thought you might get a kick out of this tweet that Scott posted last night.

It’s like he knew…  :-)

They need us to come back and take the ultrasounds again tomorrow. Wouldn’t that be wild if they found a penis?!? @TulsaScott about 23 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone

As the days and weeks go by, I find myself gradually getting used to the take-over that is occurring in my body. I even got to the point yesterday where I thought that I must have my hormones under control, as I have been feeling really good and balanced lately. That was mistake number 1. The pregnancy gods do not miss a beat and by yesterday evening, it was return to crazy-ville.

Basically I had decided to read instead of watching tv yesterday evening, as tv is starting to make me annoyed and is generally quite negative (except for the Dog Whisperer. I love that show!). So I decided to read some pregnancy books. I am beginning to wonder if this is a good idea. These books seem to be written by women who have insensitive and unsupportive husbands and as I read further I find myself getting annoyed at Scott, who by the way, is quite sensitive and extremely supportive. I got to the part where one woman wrote that husbands who attend every doctor’s appointment “obviously have too much free time.” Ok, so this was written by a woman who’s husband did not attend appointments with her. So I really should have put the book down and turned the tv on. But no, I read further.

Switching gears, I picked up a book that describes all the phases of pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting. (Repeat after me: Must remember this is only one person’s opinion. Must remember this is only one person’s opinion. Must remember this is only one person’s opinion…)

I used to like horror movies. A lot. Out of context for this blog, you say? Not at all because the same part of me that wants to look when I know I shouldn’t, decided to turn to the -things they don’t tell you about what happens to your body AFTER childbirth- section.

In hindsight, a book that says that pretty much everything will be ok, would not sell that many copies. But at the time, I simply devoured page after horrifying page of stories of women with parts falling out of their body and… well, I will spare you the gory details.

Now I am border-line hysterical. Perfect timing for Scott to come home from a long day of work. I somehow managed to internalize the whole thing until after dinner when I (seemingly randomly to Scott) began to rant about how I-WILL-NEVER-BE-THE-SAME-AGAIN after this experience. And I’m talking physically. Remembering the Texas-Chainsaw-Massacre-like descriptions written by “well meaning” women, I actually said the unthinkable. I said out loud that I had the thought that maybe we should have just adopted.

That’s the point where my brain went quiet. Should have been a hallelujah moment, however it just seemed such a horribly inappropriate thing to say that time seemed to stop. These are not things pregnant women should think much less say. We are supposed to suffer through with a smile on our faces, talking of the joy of the miracle. And to be honest, that really is how I feel 95% of the time. But the title of this post is “Honestly Speaking…” and so I am sharing my honest thoughts. Not just the good, fun or funny stuff.

I suppose I had to say it out loud to get it out of my head. And once out, I realized how completely opposite that thought was to how I really felt, that it was almost a relief. I was reminded of a sticker my Mom’s friend, Meta, gave me that says “You Don’t Have To Believe Everything You Think.” At the time, I really did not understand what it meant, but it always had a prominent place in my offices over the years and eventually I came to the realization that my thoughts are not who I am. I think my thoughts. My thoughts do not “think” me. But every now and then one pops in that sounds like me but really isn’t. It’s the stress, or the hunger, or the hormones… And it is at these times that it is of most importance to have someone who really knows you to talk to.

So the night went on. I spent time thinking about the baby and how grateful I am for him or her and how amazing our life will be once they arrive. Because it’s already a pretty amazing life, but I just know this kid is going to be pretty cool.

This morning, I received an email from my friend Laura (who has three beautiful girls) in Ireland. At the end of the email she gave me these words:

“In relation to child birth, I have one piece of advice….. get your hair done before you go in to have the baby!!! Or you will have to look at photos of you and your beautiful new born for the rest of your life going, “God will you look at my hair!!!” I learned this the hard way!!! Other than that, wing it!!!”

Now that is a woman with priorities! And it is possibly the best advise I have received so far. Thanks Law!

So for now, I have shelfed the pregnancy books and will plan my hair appointments accordingly.