Diary of a First Time Mom

Posts Tagged ‘elimination communication’

With so much going on in Wyatt’s life lately, getting into any type of a potty routine has been almost impossible.  Not that it has always been this way though…

We started Elimination Communication with Wyatt when he was eight months old.  The first week, we had many successes.  Once we offered him the bathtub to stand up while peeing (like boys do), we had even more successes.

Now, two and a half months later, we are at the end of a major growth spurt (hey! he can reach the next shelf!), teething continues (the first of four top teeth has appeared in the last few days), and he is walking.  So it is almost unnecessary to say that Wyatt has lots going on, and is not always interested in letting us know when he has to ‘go’.  Because he is always go-go-GO!

All this came to a head yesterday when I hit the wall.  I think most people who have started EC may understand.  In fact, all parents who add a new layer into their lives probably understand.  We had a day where I was not in-sync with the baby.  Normally I can catch a few here and there, and at the very least, know when he has gone, or he tells me.  Yesterday was miss after miss after miss.  I actually said out loud “i hate this, i hate this, i hate this…”  Totally dejected and frustrated, I told myself that this is how I feel, and tomorrow will be different.

Added to all this negativity was the fact that I was coming down with the flu.  Not great.  So I went to bed at 8pm (same as Wyatt), woke for a 1am feed (after 5 hours of sleep!  the normal amount for the whole night!), and slept till 7am when he woke up.  I had pretty much kicked the flu, but had already decided that this would be Day One of resetting our EC practice.

Resetting to me means being present with him while he is awake, and napping when he naps.  As suggested by Andrea Olson, in her book EC Simplified, this helps to get us back in sync.  And it worked!  I was worried that I would get nothing done in the day, as I usually work, clean, cook, and do laundry while he sleeps, but that was not the case.  Today I resolved that I would be with Wyatt first, and the only other thing I would “get done” was laundry.  And because of that, I actually got ALL the laundry done, spent time with my boy, napped when he napped, and felt so much more rested overall.  I’m still fighting this bug, so it is probably good timing to scale things back, but I am really glad we are doing things over from scratch.

By not trying to do everything every day, the things I do are done consciously, and with intent.  And I enjoy everything more.   I have made the commitment to scale back all week, so watch out for my progress.  If I notice this much of a difference in just Day One, I am excited to see how each day goes from here!

Wyatt has been so busy lately, that I can’t even remember when this started.  But somehow between learning to walk, and dealing with the frustration that can ensue, cutting four + teeth, going through a growth spurt,  and adjusting to more solid meals, he has decided he is too busy to signal for the potty or go on cue.

While all this may be true, I also think that I may have been preoccupied and therefore not given the attention required to have our EC be successful.

So with all that in mind, yesterday afternoon I decided to revisit the whole philosophy and start again.  I cued up the EC Simplified audio book by Andrea Olson, and started listening from the beginning.

What this did for me was to not only remember the basics, which Andrea O details in a very organized and easy to remember fashion, but also I was reminded to relax.  And have fun!  Her calm tone reminded me not to panic or try to rush anything.  That this is a process and for me to be in-tune with what Wyatt needs, I need to be calm internally.  I also remembered that we have days where I am out of sync with him with regards to his other needs, and so this is just a normal part of it, and there is always the next moment, or the next day to start over.

After a great morning, meeting with the ladies in my women’s networking group, I came home to W who was playing with his daddy.  We chatted for a bit about the EC philosophy, and he even reminded me a few things that we weren’t doing but needed to.  And so I decided to have some diaper-free time with Wyatt.  And really really watch this time.

Only a few minutes went by, when suddenly W went from happily playing to suddenly fussy.  Where I had been checking his diaper to find him dry normally, this time I saw it as a potty-tunity as he was telling me he HAD to go, rather than telling me he had already gone.  We went to the bathroom and tried the toilet, with a potty insert.  But he is still so wiggly that we then slowly moved to the bathtub, the one place that he pees the most.  After a minute or so of play, I bit the bullet and sat on the toilet myself (hey, you’re the one reading a post about potty time.  what did you expect…?)  When he saw and heard me “go”, he looked down.  And went.  Ta da!

Rather than congratulate him (or myself) as I have been doing, I approached this from the NVC way and said “hey!  you peed!  let’s go clean you up!”  And off we went.  I will admit to mentally high-fiving myself.  But hey, I’m human!

In conclusion, the only real significant difference that I could tell between have a smooth diaper-free day, and a day of lots of frustrating misses, is my own internal state.  When I am in-tune with myself, and him and living in the present moment, life is just so sweet!

Today I was wondering what I would write about tonight.  ”Luckily” I found a great topic by the end of the day…

Part One:  The Bedroom

Wyatt and I had dinner earlier than usual tonight which meant bath time was earlier too.  After bath, he has his “naked time” in his room to run around and play and air dry.  I felt quite good about myself as I sat in the rocking chair in his room, with my feet up, knowing bath and dinner were finished (the two tasks that take up the most energy for me) and we had a long evening ahead of us just to play and cuddle.

A little back story, Wyatt had not pooped in three days.

On with the story…

W, in all his nakedness, was sitting with  his back to me at the bookshelf, playing with his toys.  I remember thinking that he was sitting in an unusual position for him.  Almost like he was sitting on his knees or squatting.  The part of my brain that does not speak in words hinted at poop, but it was so soft spoken that I barely noticed.  I am not really sure what happened next, as it all happened so fast.  But the next thing I knew, he was crawling at me full speed.  And my brain could not comprehend what I saw.  There were dark stains behind him, and on his feet, and on his hands, and on the floor in small spots where his feet and hands were crawling.  And he did not look amused.

Oh.  He pooped.  Crap!

That was inward.  Outward I was very excited and happily scooped him up and took him to the bathroom.  Not sure what to do next, as I was sure there would be more, I put him in the tub so he could stand up.  I tried sitting him on the potty, but with a wiggly bum, it just created more clean up for later…

Part Two:  The Bathroom

Maybe I should have called this “Number Two”…  So the toilet is covered.  Wyatt is covered (well hands and feet.  Oh and legs.  And a bit on his arms) And he is in the bathtub standing up.  Luckily, we have a sprayer attached to the shower, so I turned on the warm water, hosed him down, which he was fascinated with, and the for the hell of it, ran another bath.  Full.  With soap.

Phew!  Clean baby played while I sat with him and wiped off the toilet.  Just the bedroom floor to deal with later.  No prob.  Until he stood up.  Again.  And that same voice whispered in my head “he’s pooing“.  And once again I thought, no way.

Way.

That is when Wyatt had the true joy of discovering where these little logs and patties come from.  We waved goodbye as they went down the drain, and I washed him off again.  What a night!

The funny thing is, as far as the EC rule book goes, this was all a success in a way.  I got to talk to him about what has happening.  AND I got validation that when my intuition says that he has to go, it is generally right.  And it would behoove me to listen, or pay the price later.  :-)

All in all, it probably only lasted about half an hour.  I put him in his crib, sprayed the spots on the floor, cleaned up the kitchen while it soaked in, and scrubbed after.  Then we still had the evening to ourselves, and once he went to bed I had no more work to do.  So it really all does work out in the end.  Pun intended.

I think tomorrow’s post may be entitled Adventures in Carpet Cleaning…

For the sake of the reader, I have not included photos in the post.

For our future guests, please know that I scrubbed that bathtub.  So don’t be afraid!