Diary of a First Time Mom

Posts Tagged ‘Hormones’

A lot of people have been asking me about strange cravings or weird “side-effects”.  I can’t say I have any real unusual cravings.  Except that I am eating a LOT of meat.  To the point where I am looking at becoming vegetarian again next year.  Even if it is just for a week.  Oh, and maybe a juice fast too!  The amount of meat I am eating right now is more than I ever have.  And I attribute this to the amount of protein (cell builders) that I require right now.  There are many articles and books out there for pregnant vegetarians, but to be honest, it seems like a lot of work (and beans) and right now I am lucky if I have time to put peanut butter on toast before I pass out of hunger (7 grams of protein per serving!).

So not really a lot to do with cravings.  Though it seems like I am consistently inconsistent when it comes to food.  I crave sweets, but now my teeth hurt (gum sensitivity is not uncommon) every time I eat them.  So I eat M&M fast…  crunch crunch ow ow crunch mmmm….  I used to eat a banana every night before bed and then sometimes at 3 or 4 in the morning if I woke up hungry.  Then I went through a period of hating bananas.  Every time I thought of them I burped and felt sick.  Oh Scott loved the power.  We’d be sitting watching tv and he would randomly lean over and say very sweetly ‘ba-na-na’…  Bleeeech!

The mood swings seem to be settling down too.  Either that or I am consistently moody.  With no swings.  In the first few weeks, I could only describe it as feeling like floods of hormones were washing through my brain.  I would spend a moment or two observing how something was changing.  Then I would become a monster.  Once Jekyll calmed down, I could reflect on what happened.

On one night in particular, Scott returned home from work at 12:30am.  I was in bed.  Miserable.  (This is before I knew to never let my stomach become empty.)  I had gone to bed hungry and feeling nauseous.  (I also did not know that eating a little something, no matter how nauseous I felt, would make the sick feeling go away.)  Scott made me get up and suggested I have a banana.  (Thus the beginning of the -banana before bed- routine.)  I was half-asleep, starving, nauseous, and really (really) emotional.  So now I would like to paint a picture for you…  Imagine I am standing in my kitchen in pajamas, stuffing pieces of banana into my mouth, trying not to throw up, and crying while saying (with a full mouth of banana) “I… don’t… know… what’s… wrong… with… me…”

Scott stood in the kitchen saying nothing, probably in shock.  As I ate a few bites, I started to feel better (and wake up) and started to realize I was still crying and eating and talking at the same time.  Then I started to laugh.  Now I’m laughing, crying, eating, holding back from puking while wailing “I’m a cliche!”.  Scott lost it at this point.  Lucky for him it was an acceptable time to laugh.

It’s always a great thing to be out of your mind with emotion, and then suddenly realize you are observing yourself have the experience.  Then you become the observer of the experience and not the experience itself.  Not always possible, but I have lots of opportunities to practice.

Luckily, things seems to be getting easier.  I imagine in about two weeks I will start pulling things out of closets and go on a major clean-frenzy.  We’ll see…